2.21.2018

A mountain man named Curtis

Once there was a guy named Curtis. He wrote a blog called Musings of a 21st Century 'Murican Mountain Man. He lived on a mountain in Tennessee, far away from anyone and anything. If he couldn't kill it and grill it, he got his groceries using a jetpack that he built in his shed. One day there was a lightning storm that knocked out his power, and it killed his computer. After a few jetpacking trips, he managed to get a new computer. But then it was his annual "go-primitive survival challenge" where he would go off into the woods for a month, wearing buckskins, a Bowie knife on his belt, and a coonskin cap. And moccasins, of course. He slept in trees and drank from the mountain streams and went on a 3-week pine bark cleanse.

And then he got back to his cabin, ninety-pounds of extra fat clinging to his bones, and a brace of rabbit furs slung over his shoulder.

Curtis got back to his computer and typed his post for his readers, apologizing for why his was gone so long, and explaining what he was doing in the meantime. And then he set about building a new desk chair, because the old one couldn't take the weight that he had gained very well, as he found out abruptly, as you would expect.


The End.

6 comments:

  1. Well . . . that was NOT what I was expecting. It was enjoyable, though!

    Brianna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, you'll find a lot of randomness around here.

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    2. Well, then I should be right at home. :D

      Delete
  2. This is a really funny story. Is this the kind of blog you wish you wrote?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not really, but I would certainly be interested in reading it if it was real.

      Delete

Keep it clean; don't be mean.